A MEMO FROM SALTED SAM, * Our Poet's April Poem

                                                                                  

                                A MEMO FROM SALTED SAM, *

                                   Or, Knock Off the KNO₃

  "Yet the truth is, there's no additional levels of saltpeter hidden in Army [or Navy, Ed.] chow. There's also no proof potassium nitrate (saltpeter) has any effect on libido, plus or minus, so there would be nothing to be gained  from such a doctoring of edibles. Yes, saltpeter has long rumored to be an anaphrodisiac, a substance that reduces sexual drive. But it's all rumor and no fact."  -- Snopes Notes

                                     Po-tas-si-um Nitrate!

                                    'Twas breakin' me down!

                                    Girls gave me the finger,

                                    All over that ol' Crabtown.

                                    They served it with sugar,

                                    They mixed in salt,

                                    I wasn't worth nothin',

                                    'Twas ol' Saltpeter's fault!

                                    The corpsmen in Sickbay

                                    Said it just wasn't true,

                                    But when I started drinkin' wardroom coffee

                                    I couldn't doodly-doo!

                                    O four-stripe Commandant

                                    Please make them desist,

                                    Put Potassium Nitrate

                                    At the top of your s***hole list!

                                    O Bo-dee O Do,

                                    O Bo-dee O Do,

                                    And Bibbity Bobbity Boo, Yah!

                                    4-4-18